Diabetes and Depression: My summer of fail

I know I said my next post was going to be about symlin...but I lied. Well not intentionally but it just sort of turned out that way because today I am depressed and diabetics tend to be depressed people probably because of our wacky (yes I said wacky) body chemicals that I don't have a complete understanding of. If you know why diabetes=chronic depression for most people, please explain this to me.

So yeah, being diabetic sucks for a number of reasons. Most of those reasons have happy little devices to make the reasons less...reasonable... or at least generally less sucky. But that's beside the point. The hidden reason that diabetes sucks is the chronic depression. Now I'm a pretty well medicated depressed diabetic but sometimes my medication makes this strange decision to stop working. Or maybe my brain chemicals make the decision to not respond to it anymore. Sometimes it's hard to tell. But this is the story of the summer of crazy Bunni.

This past summer I had everything set up to be awesomely productive as well as not a financial disaster. I had a 3 day a week job to pay the bills so that I could work on my thesis on the other days of the week. This was a perfect plan. I was going to be done with my thesis by the end of the summer and just have to do revisions and defend and then I would win grad school! YAY!

This did not happen. Early in the summer I noticed my sleeping meds weren't really working. Sleep problems seem to be another thing that comes with diabetes. My doctor and I switch my meds and I was convinced that they were at least kind of working and went on my way figuring that I could just deal with a little more depression than usual. That was how the first month went. In my head I was a little down and a little more OCD but otherwise I was ok. That is not what everyone else experienced. Everyone else was experiencing hyper-bitchy Bunni with SUPER OCD POWERS.

Then I went to the beach with the boyfriend and his family. I was depressed. I was VERY depressed. Even I started to notice I was depressed because I cried EVERY SINGLE DAY. I had, at that point, gotten nothing done on my thesis, was crying constantly, and couldn't sleep so I spent about 20 hours a day TRYING to sleep. This wasn't working. I told my boyfriend it wasn't working. I told my roommate it wasn't working. They said "we knew that." WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT!

Then I had to wait 2 more weeks to see a crazy person doctor who then gave me new drugs and then I had to wait 2 more weeks to see if they were working. We're at 2 months of summer at this point. There has still been no progress on my thesis and now my boyfriend is recovering from having to deal with crazy Bunni. At least the house is clean. Crazy Bunni cleans constantly. Crazy Bunni also yells at the boyfriend and the roommate about how they clean things. Crazy Bunni is not fun to live with.

By the end of the summer I've managed to get back to normalcy and then the fall semester starts and I have nothing done on my thesis. Depression has screwed me. Diabetes gives me depression. Therefore, my diabetes has screwed me. Being a depressed diabetic sucks. And you know what? Depressed diabetics are not known for taking excellent care of themselves. My blood sugars sucked and I'm pretty sure my eyes have gotten fuzzier.

This was a lame, depressing post  about depression. The next one will be a happy post about the awesome powers of symlin! I swear this time! No lies.