I have had an insulin pump since I was 12. That's about 12, almost 13 years now. I have still yet to figure out where to stash it in a dress. I've determined that I just can't wear certain types of dresses...EVER.
When I was younger before I had boobs (not that I really have much to speak of now...) I tried a padded bra and stuffing it in there. That didn't work so well because you could ALWAYS see the outline of my pump because of the lack of adequate boobage. I might be able to pull that off now, but then where would I put my cell phone? Nice dresses don't have pockets for my cell phone!
I've heard of other people putting it under their arms on the edge of their dress using a clip but that just sounds incredibly uncomfortable. I tried clipping it to the top of the back of my dresses but then there's no way to sit down. If I just clip it to my underwear, you can clearly see my pump.
So I came up with a solution. My pump lives in a pump-sized purse with a clear panel for button and screen access. I just drape it cross-wise across my body and it's fine for everyday use. For under dresses, all I have to do is tie the strap so that it fits around my hips and my pump lays flat against my hips because the case makes the pump very low-profile.
Now, here's the problem with this: my pump likes to shift when I walk. I find that I'm walking on campus and my pump has escaped from it's designated hip-bone location and has begin to center itself. Can you guess what THAT looks like? It doesn't look like a pump...
So now it looks like I have a penis if I don't keep my attention on where my pump is chillin' out...but at least I can wear most dresses now!
I'll never be able to wear a skin-tight dress but I don't think I would ever be thin enough to be comfortable in a skin-tight dress so I don't think that'll be a problem. If I could only fix this faux penis pump problem. Maybe I should just use duct tape...
Well, duct tape is pretty versatile. :-P
ReplyDelete-Barb the French Bean
Hmm, I guess this is something of the same problem as with lavalier mics. The little microphone clips to the neckline but then the wire runs down to a transmitter. So, where to put the transmitter if you are wearing a slinky dress?
ReplyDeleteuse the clip when you are wearing jeans or pants things that the clip works with.. use the sling when you need to have it in weirder place. BTW the under the arm thing works OK. but not in a dress. I put it there for some of my SCA garb
ReplyDeleteI keep getting better and better sling designs. One day I will perfect them and then people can buy them and I will get TONS of monies.
ReplyDeleteYou sew well, sew pockets into some dress and don't we have a cloth something for strapping it onto the topside of the inner thigh. That's what that Miss America contestant did and she wore a tight dress. You can try velcro for keeping the pump in place.
ReplyDeleteThe inner thigh thing doesn't work for me. It falls down. If you sew a pocket into a dress for the pump: 1-seams, 2-you weight down that part of the fabric and you're lopsided and it is very obvious.
ReplyDelete